Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Marriage Blues

What is the concept of marriage? As young women growing up we dream of finding our prince charming and getting married. This has been the myth since the beginning of time.
Marriage is a relationship between individuals which has formed the foundation for most families according to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. In the early years marriage was the center of a loving and lasting relationship for a man and a woman. It was a mountain of a big deal. When you got married it was like celebrating and a party to bless the reunion for two very in love people. Marriage was the bomb and then some.
I'm a romance reader and I believe in finding the right man and living happily ever after. I look and search for my soul mate. I know he's right around the corner, and when God is ready for me to have him, then the search will be worth it.
I was married at eighteen years of age, and I have to admit I was still a baby at heart. I had no idea what was going on in the world. I was just smitten with my husband and wanted the fairy tale dream of being married.
He swept me off my feet in everyway possible, and I was so lucky and blessed to have found this man. Little did I know that it takes more than love to sustain a marriage? Love is the center of a being, and it prevents you from divorcing so fast. I think love conquers all obstacles in our path, but it doesn't pay the rent or the mortgage.
I was thrilled when I got married because I was still living in my fairy tale in the land of fantasy. I didn't know what marriage was about or the mechanics of it. My husband was only three years older than me, so he was still wet behind the ears too. We celebrated our first couple of years still on the honeymoon that we never had, basking in the after glow of our love for each other. It was heaven and then some.
We had a ball getting to know each other. The next three years we moved onto the basic ingredient of our marriage and this is where the reality slowly stomped over our hearts. We begin to see that our personalities were getting on each other nerves, and we fought more than we made love.
I was a Taurus and he was a Gemini, so I couldn't figure out what personality he would be in until the morning. Was he a Dr. Jekyll or a Mr. Hyde? Mr. Hyde was evil, loud and with a difficult personality, so I liked it when he was Dr. Jekyll. I loved the process of being married. I was also in accordance with the rules and regulations of the marriage syndrome, so I wasn't about to give up on my marriage. I had to take my husband for better and for worse, and he had to take me the same way.
Marriage is a compromise, and a witness to being in love. We welcomed a daughter to our family and it brought us closer, but we had our own individualities, and that lasted for ten years; divorce was on the horizon, also. It was time to be alone. The love wasn't enough to sustain our marriage.
As a divorce woman I missed being married, and envy some of the couples who have been married for eleven and forty years. My parents were married for thirty years when my mother passed away. If I ever tried marriage again, this time I'd be a little knowledgeable and I'll understand the rules and regulations of being married. I know the scope of being with someone and putting up with their faults. I know I have plenty of faults, and if someone is willing to put up with me, then I should give them an academy award and a million dollars.
The perks of being married are:
1. You truly love someone and you literally want to spend the duration of your life with him/her.
2. Someone loves you.
3. You don't have to worry about dating.
4. You have the gorgeous ring.
5. You have someone to talk to, listen to, and go places with, and do things with.
6. You can make love all you want.
7. You are a couple.
8. You're no longer single.
The perks of not being married:
1. You are single with no man.
2. The dating scene is a nightmare waiting to happen.
3. You can't trust men.
4. Making love is tested, and protection is the name of the game.
5. Living together is a prospect.
6. Love and romance is difficult to find.
7. That engagement/wedding ring that you had been waiting for at least for two to five years has yet to make an appearance on your ring finger.
If I had to make a choice between being married and single; at this point in my life, I like being single because I don't want to be bothered with anyone. I know myself, and it's best that I live with myself. I'm at the age where I just don't trust a man, and I just don't want to be bothered.
On the other hand I miss love and romance, and just being with someone. I want the ball and the chain and run with it. I want to be a couple. Will I get married again? I don't think so, but the fairy tale is the concept of what we think marriage is. When we come down to earth and realize that marriage is real life, then we are awakened by a thunderstorm of reality. Let's get out of fantasy land because the real world is a bitch!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/137708

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