Monday, November 18, 2019

Build That Marriage - It's Your Responsibility

The foundation of a building is the strength and life of the building. Every professional builder takes that serious because faulty foundation can jeopardize the life of the occupancies.
So also is marriage. For you to enjoy it, a good starting is inevitable. The foundation ought to be standard and according to God's plan for a life-long benefit of marriage and family life. Once you have set the proper foundation, you build like a Master Builder according to His plan and that can take any form. However, make sure you build according to specifications.
Nothing else can make up a successful family than a good and well-planned marriage maintained in the fear of God. Until the issue of marriage is left in the hand of the Almighty God to direct, little or nothing can one derived from such marriage.
He instituted it and has all that it requires to be sustained to the end. Your marriage even if it started very well and seemed to be built of golden platter, if the source and the bases is not of God, it can collapse. Yet even if you did not start well in your marriage but allow God to come in and have His way, you can still have your marriage turn out great.
It is always good for you to enquire from God, the Matchmaker to direct your step. This is the beginning of a life-long successful marriage. That responsibility is primarily yours to find the right wife/husband. "He that findeth a wife (or husband) findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord.
Now in a family setting, seeing your marriage relationship the confidence of assurance that God is leading you to your spouse will create a sense of rest within your soul. Be sure to be committed to expecting from God, trusting in Him than on your own knowledge, "lean not on your own understanding." When the husband and wife are both unanimously committed to go in the direction of God's will, achieving success for their marriage cannot be difficult.
Have in mind that your marriage is "for better for worse", no turning back even in the face of adversity. Building can be painful. It involves a lot of hard knocks and disappointments. These are sometimes the best route for a joyful marriage because they always leave behind some benefits of recreating man for maturity.
Sometimes ago, after about less than 2weeks after my marriage, I lost my job and we (my wife and I) never expected it to last than necessary. It caused us a great pain of lack and discomfort. There was little or nothing we could do because she had already resigned her appointment with a food company she was working with because of relocation to another state where I was based. We needed to start from the scratch. Life was miserable and unbearable, without food and money to start out a little business. Being in a strange land, we found it hard to acclimatize. A new marriage relationship on a shaky ground. We accepted the challenges together and today all that is a story.
Yours may not be loss of job or business failure. There may be unfolded truth about the relationship you ought to have learnt during courtship, which breaks your heart now. It could be delay in child bearing. Or some forms of discomfort and disturbance. All these are there to bring out some hidden qualities in you. So, build yourself by seeing the good side of life.
Once you have made up your mind to marry in the fear of God and determined to marry for life, whatever may come your way in the process, do not look back. Be optimistic; see good things coming out of the miry clay and laughter will replace your sigh.
Avoid suggestions to part your marriage in the face of trial to make no room for separation or divorce. Although, trials are inevitable but when they surface, pray. Prayer changes things. This is your responsibility. God can transform that situation but He requires you to pray.
There are three areas of life that marriage should always be weighed. The Spiritual, Physical and Emotional. Be sure to be united in these areas of life but allow the spiritual aspect to dominate others for a smooth running of a successful marriage. When you always see things with the eyes of God, not allowing your physical or emotion to prevail, success is sure.
We have agreed that love is the foundation of a successful marriage. Love has different facets with several characteristics. Love is kind, gentle, easily entreated, and patient, suffers long, bears all things, not easily provoked, good temperament and many others. Prior to marriage, even during dating, you may not be able to see or exhibit all these traits in your life or that of your spouse. Time after time in your marriage relationships, (with acceptance and kindness) your spouse' life styles will invariable build some of these in you.
Therefore, there it is essential to be patient in marriage and bear with each other even in the face of adversity. Your spouse may be of a higher temperament. You need to be of a lower temperament to keep him/her in the marriage. For a life of opposite nature, separation is not the solution. Even if you have tried all possible means to accommodate him/her, say no to divorce. You call on God his/her maker, He can restructure him/her to suit you. You and only you can build your Marriage.
Wishing you a lasting marriage.

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