Saturday, October 12, 2019

Love And Marriage, Love Is Not Enough

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, but not the complete structure, it is too much yielding. Many of us live our lives believing that everything will fall into place once we have met before like pieces of jigsaw puzzle even on modern working mothers. Do not get me wrong anyway, and I am not absolutely against marriage. It is just today as we look at marriages surrounding us, the uncomfortable feeling that marriage is no longer the sacred institution as our ancestors used to be in olden days. The rate of divorce is getting up, extra marital affairs on the rise while married couples not on speaking term to each other over a trivial row. Where has the love gone to?
Love is a basic psychological need, feeling that you genuinely important to someone else who really bother to understand and caring. Feeling that at least there is somebody who care and worried if you don't return home at night. But there are other needs to take into consideration as well, like a sense of worth, security, getting to do what you want.
I believe it begins from within among ourselves. Before we can even contemplate living with another person, first of all we have to know and understand our needs. We need to have love and compassion for ourselves despite our own human faults, to be clear about our values and principles in life. Identify the weakness and self miserable habits that we want to change. We are not seeking to be perfect but somehow or rather like ourselves be respected. Trust me it is not that easy to change. Once you take the trouble to listen to yourself and take time to determine your guiding principles, it is a start of your journey towards joy and happiness.
The most common reason why marriages doesn't work and failed is that the individual has not really taken enough time to determine the course of life she wants to take before settling down. Many getting married because it's time to get married, or the other person just happen to come along.
Now that you have understand that you have to learn another person you are considering to spend the rest of your life with.Loving is not just about caring each other deeply, but it is over all and understanding. Nobody is perfect but sometimes we have to learn to accept it. Certainly not with the hope of gradually changing that person totally and that is the greatest mistake. Marriage is not really a 50-50 proposition, is just like a gambling.
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give and offer with everything. By the way what will you receive in return varies. It really has no connection with what you have already given. If you are lucky you can be loved in return, but it doesn't happen too often.
Love yourself first before you others but you can't love without giving. But when come to the basic the greatest love of all is to love yourself. Do not live your life primarily to please others, to sacrifice for someone else's sake, out of guilt, obligation and fear. And in the process, feel like to destroy your own respect. Love yourself first and love for other will follow. Meanwhile continue to dream of loving one who loves and admires us.

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