Thursday, July 18, 2019

Love Relationships - What It Takes To Make Love Relationships Work

At one point in my life I thought I could write poetry so I did, I wrote a poetry entitled Love. I was quiet proud of myself, I even nicknamed myself Lyrical One. In reality it was not a very good poem, but at that time I thought it was. The poem was about human love relationships and divine love relationships. In human relationships I defended love by pointing out the errors of human nature. In divine love relationships I pointed out the unconditional love from within.
Today there are more people looking for love than there are people in love. Why is that? I think love has now become a fantasy, a dream, a figment of the imagination, a possible impossibility. The divorce rate is high with money and infidelity being the leading causes; there is a rise in domestic violence resulting in death and suicide; women are portrayed as sex objects in the media; the rate of teenage pregnancy and single parenting continues to rise; and recently bullying has become a major problem resulting in children and teenagers committing suicide. Clearly there is a lack of love in human relationships.
The fact is love requires hard work, commitment and perseverance. In the beginning of love relationships people go through what is called the honeymoon phase. Love is new and exciting and couples tend to fall in love with the feelings of being in love. Once the honeymoon phase is over and reality sets in, some couples tend to encounter conflict, and they may no longer feel the same as they did in the beginning of the relationship. The feeling of love begins to drift away and habits that were cute in the beginning become annoying. Some couples are able to bounce back, some never do.
I believe one of the biggest challenges of love is growing together. As individuals we change as we grow older; our habits, likes and dislikes are altered. For example, people who dated in college and met again 20 years later, have to get reacquainted because so much about each person has changed over the years. It takes effort to grow together as a couple, as each partner changes interests they should simultaneously acknowledge and support each other's changes.
My observational experience from being around older couples that have been married for 40, 50, and 60 years is love thrives on consistency. Most couples felt the same way about each other as they did when they first met. The common factor among these couples was consistency; they did the same things they did when they first met. They talked, went out on dates, were romantic, and enjoyed each other's company. The common factor among all these couples was friendship; they were each other's best friend. I then concluded that couples should like and love each other.
My poem ended with my experience of unconditional love on a day to day basis. I wrote about self love which I later realized can be spiritual in nature. Love begins from within, a popular statement is "one must love oneself before anyone can love him or her." This statement has been proven true time and time again when addressing the problem of people looking for someone to make them happy or to love them.
It is my humble opinion that people should try being friends before becoming lovers. It is possible to love but not like a person. I believe this happens when people are not exactly compatible. Two people can love each other because they share some strong desirable qualities. But overall not like each other because there are qualities they simply do not like about each other, which happen to progress overtime. Despite the statistics of failing relationships, I truly believe that love can be successful when done right, and love can be a beautiful thing when you know how to love.

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