Saturday, December 24, 2016

Marital Pitfalls

There is no marriage that crashed that has not shown the signs of incompatibility during courtship or premarital relationship.
When two people are incompatible, they will break up in marriage. When the marriage breaks up, the children are the worst hit. You remember elders say "where two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.
The major challenge is that parties in a relationship do not used to reading the signs that can break up their marriages while they are still in courtship. For instance, when a man or woman finds it difficult to introduce his or her partner to his or her family members, it shows that such a person sees himself or herself be more superior to his or her partner. He sees his level be higher than that of his partner. If the other party is not sensitive enough to read the sign and eventually goes into marriage with such a high-minded man or woman, he or she will either live to endure the marriage instead of enjoying it. If he or she cannot endure the marriage then the marriage is already collapsed it is just a matter of time.
You are in a courtship with a lady, she doesn't like to move closer to you or give you a peck, and she behaves as if you have an odour in your body that is smelling badly, then you need to run away from such a lady because if you eventually get married to her, bedroom crisis may not be far from such a marriage. You know what I mean? She will find it difficult to make love to her husband. If the man can endure it then the marriage continues if not it heads on to collapse.
There are very many signs that lovers ought to look out for in a relationship while they are still in courtship, failure to do that their marriages may not last. Parties in a relationship allow their sense of judgment to be beclouded with the so called LOVE which each believes he has towards his partner. The trace of the sign may not be significantly evident, but it is there. If you are patient enough, you will discover the traces of the signs no matter how silent it may appear.
What many call love is ordinary infatuation, therefore your ability to differentiate between infatuation and real love will go a long way to proffer solution to the common problem of divorce. I have come to discover that there is a very thin line between love and infatuation and that is the reason why many people find it difficult to differentiate between the two. Another aspect is the issue of conditional and unconditional love.
If you love a man because of riches, it is a conditional love, the day he becomes poor is the day you will start to hate him. If you love a woman with the condition that she is pretty, the day her beauty starts to wane or the day she gets involve in an accident and lost her beauty is the day hatred will set in. Note this that when there is no longer love between a couple, the next thing that each party thinks about is how to get out of the marriage. He or she now sees the relationship as a bondage in which he or she enters when "his or her eyes are not yet opened" and now that he or she has shined his or her eyes, it is time to correct the mistake. The only solution that comes to mind is divorce.
This is the reason why there are a lot of cases of divorce today both in developed and undeveloped nations of the world. Out of every ten (10) marriages, an approximate of eight (8) always fail before six (6) months of their marriage in America.
Let me mention some of the Sings that May likely break up marriages:
1. Insecurity within
2. Secret and silent hatred on the part of one of the partners towards the other partner.
3. Superiority versus Inferiority complex between intending couples
4. Forced relationship: When parents of both partners forced the intending couples on each other, crisis will not be far from such a marriage.
5. Hidden or secret traits or habits of a partner which he or she hid from his or her the other partner such as secret smoking, secretly drinking alcohol, womanizing etc. If you know that you don't want to marry a smoker or drunkards for a wife or husband, don't tell your spouse during courtship that you hate smoking or alcohol because if you do, he or she will start to hide it from you. He or she will be involving in it secretly without your awareness until after your marriage. This has been the reason why so many couples will say that their partners were not smokers before their marriage and that they are surprised that he or she developed that habit after marriage.
He did not develop that habit after marriage; he has been used to the habit before he proposes marriage to you at all. It is just that you are not sensitive enough to read the handwriting on the wall before you go to the altar with him. Don't tell your partner that you hate smokers or drunkards if you do you will find it difficult to know either he or she smokes or not.
In fact, I will advise you to encourage your partner to smoke, drink or womanize to truly know his stand on such matters. There is a new common believe in the circle of ladies, they believe that men who smoke, or drink are stronger than their counterparts who do not smoke or drink, maybe because of the advert that cigarette companies and alcohol companies now put up on the television showing to you that smoking or drinking is a sign of great strength. This is a simple lie from the pit of hell. In fact, if you decide to get married to smokers or drunkards, then you don't complain when he turns you into a punching bag after marriage. Because each time he goes to the club and gets himself drunk, he will always misbehave by beating you up. He is no longer the one beating you but the content of the bottle that is working in the children of disobedience.
Marry a smoker or drunkard, then I tell you, I lied not you will be older than your age in no time courtesy of his constant beating.

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