“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” Dave Meurer
Professional marriage counseling tells you that communication is everything in a relationship. This is as true as it gets. Couples who communicate well have a far greater ability to stay together over time. The importance of understanding and respecting each other should never be ignored, simply because these factors constitute the core fundamentals of both safety, mutual attraction and a healthy sex life.
Here are some of the most important advice for you to follow in order to keep you heart's chosen one, and at the same time strengthen and improve your relationship.
A good marriage is constituted by two individuals, each with his and hers own history, background, wants, dreams and needs. It is important that each of you are aware of your own preferences and at the same time are aware of and respect the fact that your partner has other views.
Many of the problems in a marriage starts when one part feels that he or she is being taken for granted and not being appreciated. Keep in mind that if you are confident with yourself and your own wants and needs, it becomes easier for you to give a lot more positive attention to your partner. Flirting, having fun and giving each other attention are true symptoms of a healthy relationship.
Many couples get stuck in those small every day issues that are not at all serious, but since they don't talk about these things, they are constantly just a few steps from being able to sort them out together. In other words, two way communication can solve many of the problems that eventually become impossible for a couple to deal with. The result is mutual irritability that again leads to inability to being constructive and talk to each other. Sometimes these kinds of silent growing conflicts can build up over many years and lead to break up and separation. At this stage, a professional marriage counselor is often needed to get out of the destructive pattern.
So why is it that some couples are living happily together through many years while others end in divorce?
Here are six important tips to save you marriage:
1. Find help when necessary
On average, established couples have been married for about six years before they seek professional help with their relationship problems. There are no reasons why two people should be living in a bad relationship over time.
2. Be polite and respectful
Research shows that couples who have the ability to control their worst outbreaks of irritability and frustrations are also the happiest ones. This does of course not mean that it is forbidden to have an argument. It simply means that it is important to be able to deal with a disagreement while maintaining a mutual polite and respectful conversation.
3. Do not use harsh words
Many times a destructive quarrel starts when one part answers a simple question in a confrontational tone. Being in a bad mood is not a good enough reason to ruin the day for both yourself and the one you love.
4. Set requirements for you partner
Happy couples often have high expectations from each other from the start. People who are able to maintain their relationship on a high quality level, are also those who have the lowest acceptance of bad behavior from their partner. A key point here is that both of you must be able to tell your partner the truth if you feel hurt by his or her words or actions.
5. Learn how to end a discussion
There are many techniques that can be used to secure that both of you keep your pride and self confidence intact after having a discussion. Both humor and mutual empathy are important ingredients when it comes to turning a potential fight into a constructive conversation. Also try to use phrases like "I understand that this is difficult for you" or "this is our problem that we must solve together."
6. Focus on the pleasant things in life
It is perhaps not surprising that the most happy couples are also those who experience a higher level of enjoyment in their relationship. Those who are enjoying each others company and having fun together, are more likely to stay together. They are able to honestly use phrases like "we have a lot of fun together" as opposed to "you are so boring".
Keep in mind that the core fundamentals of a good marriage consist of positive thoughts about both each other and your relationship as a whole.