Monday, September 13, 2010


You may be reading a wedding planning book or you may be looking back upon your wedding.

Underlying every aspect of the wedding is the expectation of marriage. This expectation may be founded on the right principles or flawed in some way. But in any case you can make your relationship right.

You can establish a foundation that will bless for a lifetime.

The struggle for human rights is an ongoing fight well worth fighting. Men often joke about marriage being legalize male slavery, but often the opposite has been reality. Many women have suffered terrible abuses in the name of marriage.

The cause of freedom and justice continues across America and the world. Perhaps that battle is even more obvious in our homes. The very nature of marriage and family life are threatened by the thirst for equality and domination. Political and social forces reach into every part of our lives. Some of this may be good, but some also disrupts the operational relationships of the family.

How does all of this affect our marriages and homes? Apparently, it has affected thousands of homes as indicated by the over half of first marriages and over two thirds of second marriages ending in divorce.

Where can we find foundational principles to guide us in our marriages? As a Christian minister, I have discovered some critical principles revealed in the Bible, however, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that these same ideas are also recommended by many of the authorities today on success in marriage.

Principle A: Husbands and wives are not the same, but in marriage they must share mutually to insure success. Whenever one or the other holds back, both suffer. Whenever one or the other oppresses, both suffer. Only when husband and wife freely give their love, their work, or their lives to each other mutually can they be assured of marital success.

Rule two: Man is charged with the task of leadership to the couple and family. Leadership sets the standards, values, priorities, and direction for the marriage and family socially, morally, economically, and spiritually. Effective leadership demands sensitivity to his followers, partners, and subordinates. To fulfill his leadership responsibilities, he must consider the needs, wants, and ideas of his wife being willing to sacrifice his own desires to meet her needs.

A leader protects those he leads. He avoids putting his family and his marriage at risk. He sacrifices his own desires, needs, or welfare in order to keep his family safe. Threats may come in many forms, but the husband leader remains the steady defender of his home.

Third Rule : Husbands provide. Husbands work to provide food, clothing, and shelter for his family. It is his responsibility to provide for his marriage and family. This means he must give his time and energy to earning a living, providing a home, supplying the basic needs of his home. He must willingly sacrifice himself, his sweat, his best efforts to meet his family's needs. A wife who joins in to help her husband gives him precious support.

Rule D: Companionship is the mission of a wife. Her duty is to join her husband to mutually pursue the dreams of marriage and family. Honor, respect, and assistance are the wife's critical contribution. She needs to willingly give herself to meet her husband's most basic needs.

An abusive husband may abuse his wife, but a beloved wife freely shares her life, gives her love, and sacrifices herself for the welfare of her marriage and family. Giving always blesses. Giving always uplifts. Giving always blesses. Giving always strengthens marriages.

Subjection and oppression ruin marriages. Dictatorial tyranny destroys. A man who behaves in such a way, cripples his marriage. On the other hand, a husband who loves his wife will listen intently to her and respond with self sacrificing generosity. A wife who truly loves her husband will honor his efforts, encourage and respect him, and stand with him against all the pressures of the world.

Make sure your wedding vow speaks endeering truths. Study wedding planning books to get useful ideas.

When husband fulfills his role as defined by these Biblical principles, the marriage and family are blessed.

Marriages thrive when wives dedicate themselves to their husbands standing with them and for them.

This is not as much a matter of bondage or freedom as it is a matter of mutuality, leadership, and giving to advance the welfare of the whole family. Marriage requires serious effort. To learn more about the fundamental commitments made when a man and woman marry, explore the vast resources available to you through the resources below.

Instruct those who are to make your all important wedding toast to express the same values and principles that will sustain your marriage for a lifetime.

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